Hello and welcome!

My name is Hannah and I am an alcoholic.

If I would have created this blog 2 months ago, that would not be how it started. I was absolutely still in denial about this major fact about myself. However, after reaching absolute rock bottom and reaching out for help, I have come to accept this fact.

I began inpatient detox on May 27, 2024. My sister and brother-in-law dropped me off, said their goodbyes, and I was left alone. Alone with nothing but my thoughts and not a drop of alcohol in sight. Over the next week, I attended group meetings and therapy. I went through withdrawal and prayed that I would make it through to the other side. Which, I did. And in a blink I was back home in a world filled with alcohol and social events where drinking was almost an expectation. I was scared. I was anxious. I was lonely. I was absolutely in shock as to how my world had done a 180 turn in a matter of a week.

But over the following days and weeks I discovered something. This was my new reality. Not the anxiety and fear, but the strength I was rediscovering in myself. I hadn’t felt so happy, present, or awake in the past decade. I love to write and decided I would start a blog, journaling my voyage through my new reality. Some days will be good, and some days will be less than good, but I want to share in the hopes that someone going through a similar situation will see and find strength in the process. Even if you don’t struggle with substance abuse, I hope that a different outlook on circumstances might help you. I hope that you find solace and confidence in these words to do better for yourself. Because you deserve it! I appreciate you tuning in and reading my words. I enjoy writing; I always have. Whether or not I’m any good at it is up to you, I suppose.

My next post will be a long one. I wrote out my struggle with alcohol in great detail. I mostly did this to see for myself exactly where it began. If this is triggering for you, skip over the next post. I understand completely. However, if you do read I encourage you to do so with an open mind. Sharing my story is a decision I have made despite high levels of anxiety. I worry about judgement- as most people would. But the thought that this might help someone else outweighs the fear of judgement. Also the fact that this is my outlet is important to me. I hope that you read all of my posts with an open mind, and a kind heart. This is a no judgement zone! It is a a place of questioning your beliefs. A place of healing and challenging perspectives. It is a place to completely be yourself with yourself, and come to conclusions that are best for you at this point in your life.

My intent is not to preach or teach you anything, but offer a different perspective. One that I myself have learned recently and differs incredibly from my own just a few short months ago. I’m not superior in any way, and I’m not an expert on sobriety. I am currently going through it though, and want a space to share my thoughts with a newly clear mind. Let this be a journey for all of us that we can embark on together.